Hey, I'm Emily. Starkid, Gleek, Harry Potter, Whovian, Sherlockian, Charlene Kaye and Mia Von Glitz are my spirit animals.
- Clint: Nat, what would you give me if I get this jellybean in your cleavage?
- Natasha: A concussion.
A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says ”Five beers, please.”
i dont get it
No one explain it
After the Roman drinks the beers, he tells the bartender, “I want a martinus.”
"Don’t you mean a martini?”
"If I wanted two, I would’ve asked for them."
these are the best jokes ever
at a hella cool castle
the groom channeled Thranduil and the Baratheons
the bridesmaids were elf maidens
the court jester and town crier were there
the cakes were gorgeous
luckily a friar was passing through town who was able to officiate (“mawwaige,” he said, “is what bwings us togevver today”)
the bride’s chariot was pulled by the most beautiful creature
unfortunately, as with all medieval weddings, there is the dragon problem
no but the best part is how he got the name:
his name was originally “potatoes,” and his owner, willoughby bertie, told the stable lad who helped him to write the horse’s name on a feed bin. the boy misheard it as, literally “pot-eight-o’s” and wrote it with 8 o’s. bertie found it so funny that he kept that as the horses name.
This is the most beautiful horse-related story I’ve ever heard.
I find it interesting how society doesn’t care when the media sexualizes women, when men sexualize women, or when school and the government sexualize women. But the second a woman is in control, and sexualizes herself willingly, it’s wrong and disgusting.
my 3 year old brother regularly paints his nails (rn they’re sparkly pink) and shows them off at preschool and all of his friends are so jealous bc their mom won’t let them paint their nails because they’re boys.
- What they say to kids who want pets: Are you sure you're not just saying you want one because all your friends have one? Remember, it's not going to be small and cute forever, it will grow up eventually! It's a living being that will depend entirely on you for the rest of its life. Are you really sure you're ready for this?
- What they say to adults who DON'T want kids: Oh, you'll want one sooner or later. Everybody does, after all. Besides, babies are soooo cute, aren't they? You'd better hurry up before you get too old!